Ah... I remember that electric moment when I was elected. The tingly feeling of being really wanted, approved and commended by literally thousands of people. I imagined it being like a job interview with a very long table in front of me and them all nodding and saying yes. The retiring Chief Constable sneered at the second preference votes that got me over the 50% mark, but they were still votes! To my mind 15.1% is a heck of a lot more than the pusillanimous police authority ever got! Authority - hah! I have the authority now and I'm going to use it!
And then this morning, as I was contentedly musing on my authority & power (etc.), it all gets ruined by Winger coming to see me! It seems the darn chap has gone native!!
I sent him off to start working on the policing plan several days ago. And now he has come back blathering on about evidence based practice baloney, the 'Strategic Policing Requirement' guff, legal constraint blither, human resource capability blah, public consultation (strike that - public engagement...) claptrap and all manner of management jargon. I swear he's been for a Bramshill brainwash. Damn the man!
I asked him to do a simple job: write me a policing plan that matched my manifesto. And he has the effrontery and audacity to tell me that my manifesto promises were "contradictory, vague and populist". I say, "of course they were, I was running for election you squarehead!! But it is the job I gave you (remember that?) to go away and turn the promises into a plan!" I told him that "just as I don't bother with taxes as they are for the little people, you are the little person who has to turn my big picture into a plan. Now get on with it!!"
And then he resigned and walked out of the room with a big grin on his shiny fat face. Last time I trust him to do anything!
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