This blog is mainly about the governance and future of policing and crime services. (Police & Crime Commissioners feature quite a lot.) But there are also posts about the wider justice system. And because I am town councillor and political activist, local & national issues are covered a little, as well.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Witchcraft: the Secret PCC & managing awkward Chiefs

I am wrapped up with Lawyers today, so this is only going to be short post.

But let it be known far and wide that these pesky Chief Constables are more difficult to corral than sheep with scrapie! I mean, I thought I had it all sorted with my clearly laid out principles for appointing a new one (after the other one tripped off to sunnier climes just as I arrived, and the acting CC had about as much spine as a biscuit dunked too long in tea). But it would appear that the person I appointed had a few more wily brain cells than I credited to her. You cannot trust these Chief Constables, they have all been around mendacious low life (aka the Police Federation) and offenders for far too long. Their ability to dissemble, connive and smile sweetly would make Nixon blush!

I cannot go into the details as they are 'sub judice' as it were but it would seem my verbal warning to the Chief Constable for being a bit 'too candid' on her facebook site has been met with disbelief, disapproval and a grievance against me!?! How very dare she!

OK, so I admit that I did fake being an old school buddy in order to become one of her FB friends, but she really ought not to be writing stuff like that, even in private! (Although I cannot tell you what she wrote exactly, but it was not very kind... to her elders & betters & political masters).

So I have been scrabbling around for some statute where I can be rid of the woman. I cannot quite decide whether to invoke the witchcraft acts of 1542, 1562 or 1604 but all I know is that she has some pretty odd masks and badges in her office. She claims they were gifts from visiting police officers from around the world but I know when I have been voodooed!

Anyway, I must be off to talk to my lawyers. I hope they have been studying occult legislation like I asked them too...

The Secret PCC Diary until now:
Legal disclaimer: just in case you thought this series of secret PCC blogs is based upon a real person or persons: it isn't. It really isn't. Any similarity to a living PCC is entirely coincidental.

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