Social media policy (Secret Diary of a PCC)

I am becoming rather concerned that some of the social media accounts of several senior and other officers in the constabulary are becoming just a little too friendly. I know all this fashionable social media baloney is supposed to be all about 'engagement', 'reaching out' to the public and making the police seem human. But I think it could all be going just too damn far. So I have come up with these dozen rules that I expect the Chief Constable to enforce (although the Chief is one of the worst offenders!)

1. No mention to be made concerning musical tastes, pop concerts, contents of pies, drinks drunk, current (or past) relationships and pets (except Labradors).
2. Strictly no pictures of any of the above either
3. Also absolutely no pictures of baby hedgehogs / badgers (especially cute badgers) / foxes (and fox cubs) / kittens / puppies / any animal that could be deemed ‘fluffy’
4. No mentions of any charities as this could be seen to be political, including seeking sponsorship for fun runs / triathlons / moustaches / wearing purple etc
5. Only pictures of landscapes that are based in this county
6. Plenty of mentions of success but no mentions of failure unless they can be blamed on another part of the criminal justice system
7. Absolutely no political, ethical, satirical, Marxist or religious comment (which includes anything ‘funny’)
8. No comments about budgets, strategy, problem solving, evidence based practice, professional conduct or anything else likely to bring the police service into disrepute
9. Trendy hashtags are to be used with extreme caution and absolutely not if they include woollen garments, socio demographic descriptions, cinematic references, One Direction or anything to do with body parts 
10. No language that could offend the PCC or other upstanding people in the world
11. No puns, double entendres or words that could be blamed on a spell checker
12. Retweeting or sharing certain items are OK so long as none of the above rules are broken

I just wish I knew what rules 9 & 12 were all about though....

_________________________________________________

The Secret PCC Diary until now:

• Collected diary - days one to ten
• Day 50
• Day 68
• Appointing the new Chief Constable
• PCCs must show people its worth voting (interview with the secret PCC)
• Fields of ponies: the Secret PCC does Income Generation!
• By the pricking of my thumbs, something radical this way comes!
• Too big for their pixie boots: the Secret PCC makes a speech to his Police & Crime Panel
• Witchcraft: the Secret PCC & managing awkward Chiefs

Legal disclaimer: just in case you thought this series of secret PCC blogs is based upon a real person or persons: it isn't. It really isn't. Any similarity to a living PCC is entirely coincidental.