Headlines from the future?

Back in 2000, I gave a presentation to the Accelerated Promotion Course for inspectors. As part of the presentation, I suggested some headlines from the future... here they are:

• National Police Procurement Authority praised by HMIC for economy, efficiency & effectiveness
• All Wales Police Force established
• Bramshill establishes accredited civilian surveillance training
• Home Secretary opens tenth joint control room and local government call centre
• Royal Bureau of Investigation praised by President Clinton on her state visit
• Research demonstrates Best Value shift systems
• More & more local authority chief execs get involved in appointing divisional commanders
• Police authority battles with ACPO over appointment of civilian police chief executive
• First black Chief Constable appointed
• Merger of several forces looms as English Regional Government becomes a reality 
• Youth Offending Teams and Drug Action Teams to pool resources
• Audit commission slates many community safety strategies as little more than ‘glossy’ booklets
• Reductions in vehicle thefts matched by rise in moving vehicle ‘piracy’
• Home insurance to pay for burglary investigations
• Integrated Transport Police Authority (rail / motorway / airport) to be created
• ‘Bus lane dodgers’ help firm generate huge profits
• Audit Commission praises shift towards proactive patrolling
• Crime reporting via the internet is ‘the way ahead’ says joint HMIC & Audit Commission report
• Fingerprint recognition and other key forensic services - outsourcing trend rises due to BV
• Digital face recognition and Artificial Intelligence revolutionises application of CCTV
• New technology reduces 999 mobile phone overload at motorway incidents
• Restorative justice approaches now fully integrated into police probationer training
• Targets set for recruitment, retention and promotion of women officers
• Satellite tracking introduced into police vehicles
• Drug Czar introduces international ‘Kite Mark’ for safe ecstasy (‘High as a Kite’ - Sun Headline)
• National Parks Authorities given wider powers to police traffic and ‘day-tripper passports’
• Traditional police helmets now ‘just for ceremonies’ says new Commissioner
• Human Rights lawyers and ACPO put forward PACE II proposals
• Senior officer recruitment crisis leads to pilot direct entry scheme

Over the years since then, I have updated and refined this list (adding in ANPR, deleting 'First Black CC' for example) but I still get to wonder what the headlines might be in a few years time... 

Here are some more (slightly more tongue in cheek, perhaps...) predictions, based upon the trends we are observing now:

• Serious Crime Agency to be rebranded again (with more powers and fewer resources)
• PCC appears in public with a 'this is not a' police uniform
• Courts to be put in competition with each other (to achieve swifter cheaper justice)
• National living wage introduced for Legal Aid lawyers
• National police uniform introduced
• Metropolitan police commissioner made to 'retire early' (again)
• Just like teachers, police officers no longer need to be qualified
• Entire police constabulary goes into special measures: G4SERCAPITA brought in to run services
• Police officers (like soldiers) now required to buy their own kit
• Judicial services reorganised into purchaser/provider split
• Myanmar/Burma copies UK and introduces its own Bill of Rights
• UK Bill of Rights is challenged in the European Court of Human Rights

What headlines would you propose?